AustLit

'The Western Wildcats are in trouble. 

'About the only good thing you could say for their goalkeeper, Smokin (so called because he’s never without a Chupa Chup in his mouth!), is that he’s got a newish pair of gloves. He keeps taking off for the toilet or he’ll go to the canteen or home—right in the middle of a game! But he’s got a lot on his mind, what with his father building a blue and yellow (Go the Eels!) Chinese junk in their backyard and planning to sail off down the local creek and head for Hawaii. So do they really expect Smokin to keep for the entire game?

'Of course he’s not the only problem: some of Throw-in’s clearances are adding to the rings around Saturn, and Own-goal keeps scoring hat-tricks for the opposing team. Brazilian methods don’t seem to be working so far, but their coach is still trying. Is it any wonder, though, that people are saying the Western Wildcats suck?'  (Publication summary)

'Trying to get enough kids to form a decent football team isn’t easy! It’s not just the playing time involved on the weekends; it’s the training sessions after school and at night too. But when the Wildcats reluctantly take on Peta ‘Gazza” Gascoigne to make up the numbers, they quickly discover that she’s the best player they’ve got. Not only that, she’s got an attractive and apparently unattached—or loosely attached—mum. And Splinters is looking for a new partner for his dad. Everything looks set on and off the field, but Gazza and her mum have been deported back to England for overstaying their visa and suddenly disappeared without a trace. Nothing for it but to fly to England, track them down and persuade them to come back. But where are the Wildcats going to get the money? Nuke gets the bright idea that they can borrow his father’s credit card and book their flights on the internet. And that’s where the real trouble begins!' (Publication summary)

'The Wildcats are in trouble again! Down on the ground, there’s got to be some way of raising funds, and their coach comes up with health food bars. Only trouble is they’re inedible, and whoever sells the most gets an all-expenses-paid trip to Canberra. 

'Up in the air, though, Splinters and Nuke are on their way to London to retrieve their best player, Gazza, who’s been deported back to England with her mum, and the two boys get up to the sort of in-flight antics that have made travelling footballers notorious.

'Grappling as always with the problem of how to make up the numbers, someone remembers a genius footballer called Armitage Shanks who registered for the Under 6s, but never turned up for training or played a single game. Then the obvious question: how do you know he was a genius? And (to Splinters) the equally obvious answer: he had great boots! But when Armitage Shanks turns up, it’s a bigger surprise than the Wildcats have bargained for.

'A crazy adventure with an unexpectedly moving conclusion, this is one of John Larkin’s funniest books in the series - but it also offers a little insight into success and fame.' (Publication summary)