AustLit logo
Simon Haynes Simon Haynes i(A69332 works by)
Born: Established:
c
United Kingdom (UK),
c
Western Europe, Europe,
;
Gender: Male
Arrived in Australia: 1983
The material on this page is available to AustLit subscribers. If you are a subscriber or are from a subscribing organisation, please log in to gain full access. To explore options for subscribing to this unique teaching, research, and publishing resource for Australian culture and storytelling, please contact us or find out more.

Works By

Preview all
1 y separately published work icon Albion Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900776 2018 single work novella science fiction

'Hal takes an odd call from a team of scientists, and minutes later he and Clunk are boarding a shuttle for the nearby orbiter. Turns out the scientists need some vital information, and only Hal can help.

'Before long he's embroiled in a new adventure, and this one's really dangerous.'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon Double Trouble Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900699 2018 single work novel science fiction

'Hal Spacejock lands on planet Alteia, where he's so distracted by his own problems that he forgets to collect Clunk from the luggage rack. Not to worry, because a couple of old friends free Clunk from the spaceport ... only to reveal a great big ulterior motive: they want him to join their gang ... er, group.

'Meanwhile, Hal's remembered his trusty co-pilot at last ... but only because everyone's trying to kill him, and Clunk is big and metal and bulletproof-ish.'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon A Pair of Nuts on the Throne Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900639 2018 single work novel science fiction fantasy

'Ahh, the Old Kingdom.

'Come and admire our angry dragons close up. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves.

'For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday**

'Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.

'*Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.

'**Travel insurance not available.

'***This is what three asterisks look like when you put them in a row.

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon A Butt of Heads Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900583 2018 single work novel science fiction fantasy

'Events are unfolding at a breakneck pace in the Old Kingdom!

'Laugh as your favourite characters spit in the face of danger ... then run for the hills.

'Admire the verbal jousting and witty wordplay ... or is it the other way round?

'Gasp as kings and queens lose their heads.

''Enjoy' the groanworthy puns and suffer the slings and arrows of poorly-trained archers.

'But wait, there's more ...

'Prepare to be amazed as you learn exactly what Clunk's building in his makeshift workshop!'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon A Portion of Dragon and Chips Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900536 2018 single work novel science fiction fantasy

'Welcome to the Old Kingdom!

'It's a wonderful time to visit! There's lots to do and plenty to see!

'Participate* in a public execution!
Wave a pathetic little sword at the Queen's Champion! (With luck**, become the new queen's champion!)
Practice real magic***, in public!
Make fun of the Halfling**** and experience excruciating pain!

'What are you waiting for? Dive into the Old Kingdom right now! *****

'Clunk, an elderly robot, just did exactly that. He plunges into the sea off the coast of the Old Kingdom, and if he knew what was coming next he'd have sat down on the ocean floor and waited for rescue.

'Dragged from the ocean, coughing up seaweed, salty water and stray pieces of jellyfish, he's taken to the nearby city of Chatter's Reach, where he's given a sword and told to fight the Queen's Champion, Sur Loyne.

'As if that wasn't bad enough, the Old Kingdom still thinks the wheel is a pretty nifty idea, and his chances of finding spare parts - or his missing memory modules - are nil.

'Still, Clunk is an optimist, and it's not long before he's embarking on a quest to find his way home.

'It's going to be a really tough ask, given the lack of charging points ...

'* Note: you won't be the one swinging the axe.
** You'll need it.
*** Abracadon't. Seriously.
**** His name is Runt, and he's just tall enough to reach your groin. With his knife.
***** Try not to land on a giant sea serpent. Tourists give them indigestion.
'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon Robots vs Dragons Dragons & Chips Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900473 2018 series - author novel
1 y separately published work icon Harriet Walsh Omnibus One Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900367 2018 selected work novel
1 y separately published work icon Sierra Bravo Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900303 2018 single work novel science fiction

'Planet Dismolle is supposed to be a peaceful haven. So what's with all the gunfire?

'A criminal gang has moved into Chirless, Dismolle's second major city. Elderly residents are fed up with the loud music, noisy cars and late night parties, not to mention hold-ups, muggings and the occasional gunfight.

'Chirless has no Peace Force, so Harriet Walsh of the Dismolle City branch has to help out. That puts her up against a gang of hardened criminals with only her training pistol and a few old allies to lend a hand.

'And these allies aren't just old, they're positively ancient!'

Source:Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon Alpha Minor Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14900160 2018 single work novel science fiction

'The Peace Force has a new recruit, and she's driving everyone crazy. From disobeying orders to handling unauthorised cases, nothing is off-limits.

'Worse, Harriet Walsh is forced to team up with the newbie, because the recruit's shady past has just caught up with her.

'Meanwhile, a dignitary wants to complain about rogue officers working out of the station. She insists on meeting the station's commanding officer ... and they don't have one.

'All up, it's another typical day in the Peace Force!'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon Peace Force Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14899972 2018 single work novel science fiction

'Welcome to the Peace Force!

'Would you work for a deranged robot? Harriet Walsh does!

'It's her first day on the job, and Peace Force trainee Harriet Walsh is given a pretend case to solve. It's not like she can take on a real case, because Dismolle is a peaceful planet and there's absolutely no crime.

'That's about to change, though, because Harriet's unearthed some real, live suspects. Now she just has to find out what kind of crime they're committing!

'Unfortunately, Harriet's weapon won't fire without the right paperwork, the patrol car keeps asking her out, and her crime-fighting computer is so basic it doesn't have solitaire.

'No wonder some call it the Peace Farce!'

Source: Publisher's blurb.

1 y separately published work icon Harriet Walsh Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2018 14899820 2018 series - author novel
1 y separately published work icon Hal Spacejock : Big Bang Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2014 7324363 2014 single work novel science fiction humour

'A house clearance job sounds like easy money, but rising floodwaters, an unstable landscape and a surprise find are going to make life very difficult for Hal and Clunk.' (Publication summary)

1 y separately published work icon Hal Spacejock : Safe Art Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2013 7323939 2013 single work novel science fiction humour

'A wealthy patron is sponsoring a series of art exhibitions, and Hal Spacejock has been employed to transport valuable pieces from one venue to the next.

'The only question is which of them will last longest ... Hal or the artworks?' (Publication summary)

1 y separately published work icon The Gyris Mission Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2012 7324264 2012 single work children's fiction children's science fiction

'Hal and Stinky are very excited about the camping trip to Planet Gyris ... imagine a whole week of fishing, swimming, sleeping in tents and running wild!

Unfortunately, the boys crash land in the middle of a forest, and there's little chance of rescue. Is this the end of the camping trip ... or the start of a thrilling new adventure?' (Publication summary)

1 1 y separately published work icon The Missing Case Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2012 7324200 2012 single work children's fiction children's science fiction

'The Missing Case is the second book in the Hal Junior Series.

'With its funny illustrations, engaging characters and easy-to-read text, Hal Junior is ideal for reluctant readers.' (Publication summary)

1 y separately published work icon Hal Spacejock : Baker's Dough Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2012 7324083 2012 single work novel science fiction humour

'Robots have a tough life in Hal Spacejock's universe: as second-class citizens they have no rights, and most are overworked, mistreated, and recycled at the drop of a hat.

'When Kim Baker, a wealthy industrialist, leaves his vast fortune to an elderly robot, it's front page news.

'Unfortunately, the robot hasn't been seen for decades ... ' (Publication summary)

1 y separately published work icon Hal Junior Simon Haynes , 2011 Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2011- Z1837160 2011 series - author children's fiction children's science fiction humour
1 3 y separately published work icon The Secret Signal Simon Haynes , Belmont : Bowman Publishing , 2011 Z1837145 2011 single work children's fiction children's science fiction humour

'Middle-grade science fiction (funny books for kids). 29,000 words, 186 pages, 40 illustrations. The Secret Signal is the first book in the Hal Junior Series. Book two, The Missing Case, is also available in paperback and Kindle ebook editions.

'With its funny illustrations, engaging characters and easy-to-read text, Hal Junior is ideal for reluctant readers. (Reluctant boys will especially enjoy troublemaker Hal Junior's hair-raising adventures.)' (Publication summary)

1 Fizz Simon Haynes , 2011 single work short story
— Appears in: Verandah , no. 26 2011; (p. 1-6)
1 Rock Apocalypse Simon Haynes , Adrian Cross (composer), 2008 single work musical theatre

'Rock Apocalypse is rock n' roll party show which is a parody and tongue in cheek tribute to horror and sci-fi B-movies from the 1950's to the present day. The music is rock n' roll, blues, gospel, rock and anthem-based. And it is very funny. Though Rock Apocalypse is intended to be strictly for pleasure , it is also a sharp satire of our mass media driven culture where our thoughts, emotions, and perceptions are constantly altered by the barrage of "advice" from advertising, film and TV.' Source: www.davidspicer.com/r (Sighted 14/01/2009).

X