'I sit on a patch of grass overlooking the river, waiting for my girlfriend to finish work. I watch the ferries pass over the water and run my palm over the grass, like it might be that easy for me too. My psychologist told me to try and be near water for its calming effect. My girlfriend and I are going out for burgers and then an event at her work. It should be an easy night but there's something about that which makes it hard.'